I once heard that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who feel liberated by the empty desert under the vast, starry sky, and those who feel terror. I have always strived to be the first. I "want" to see lightness as freedom rather than abandonment. But perhaps lightness and weight are not choices we make once and for all; they are tensions we learn to tolerate. There is no cosmic rehearsal, no second draft. Perhaps it is not about feeling liberated or terrified. Instead, maybe it's about how much courage we can take to live without guarantees.
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